Bad Tinder Openers

Below are real-life examples of bad tinder openers we found. We’ve found that these generally fall into four distinct categories:

1st Archetype of Bad Tinder Openers: The Pervert/Fetish Weirdo

These guys go straight to the point with vulgar and frequently bizarre statements. Even though it is essentially a hookup site these guys fail to demonstrate the necessary tact and respect required to get a response.

bad tinder openers“Let me butt fuck you.”

“I love your feet. Can I lick them?”

“I would roll your well shaped chocolate covered body in roasted almonds.”

“Damnn gurl. I wanna fuck the shit out of you. Would that be cool?”

For more horrendously creepy, bad tinder openers and message exchanges definitely check out the hilarious book Tinder Nightmares by Elan Gale.

2nd Archetype: The Generic Nice But Boring Guy

Often attempt to look for commonalities in some attempt to show how honorable and  ‘not like the other guys’ they are. Their openers frequently come across as disingenuous, negative or needy.

nice guy rejection

“Hey. I like Coldplay too.”

“Hey. I was in Thailand last year too. Maybe we can steal a private jet and fly back together.”

“So first off, I am not too good at this whole messaging process but hear me out. I am a nice guy looking for someone to spend time with and possibly start a relationship with. I am not looking for sex or a hookup because that’s for immature guys who don’t know what they want out of life. I don’t smoke or do drugs and rarely drink. I have a good sense of humor and enjoy cheering others up or just cracking jokes with friends or coworkers. So I know you want to make sure people read your profile, but I’m not really sure how to necessarily do that. Now I know I can talk about myself more   but if you’re looking for a good guy who treats women right feel free to message me back.”

3rd Archetype: The Cocky Asshole

These are the guys who take their confidence too far, to the point that it feels insincere or that they are overcompensating for an underlying insecurity.

Their bad tinder opener is often accompanied with shirtless douchey bathroom selfies or pictures in the club with their homies drinking Ciroc.

Justin bieber douchey topless selfie image

“Wanna take a ride in my Porsche?”

“Hey you with the nice face. Number. Now.”

“Look, I know you’re probably shy but yes, you CAN have my babies.”

“I have the biggest Dong since Donkey Kong.”

4th Archetype: The Idiot

Often give a one-word monosyllabic greeting. If more advanced, they might say something like “how’s it going?” with no hook or direction for it to go somewhere.

Best case scenario, this person comes across as nonchalant but unless the profile is mindblowingly amazing the exchange will quickly fizzle out.

“‘SUP”Boring bad tinder conversation


“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Hey, what you up to?”

etc etc…

For a more extensive breakdown of bad tinder openers, check out the hilarious book, Tinder Nightmares by Elan Gale.

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